Dilbert's Laws of Work:

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

He who hesitates is probably right.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.